Jesus, I trust in You.

These words, written below the well-known Divine Mercy image, truly encompass the heart of the Divine Mercy devotion—and the life of Polish nun St. Faustina.  In her diary, Divine Mercy in My Soul, St. Faustina recounts the entire spiritual journey of her life, beginning with her first call from God at the age of seven, to her entrance into the convent at the age of twenty, and on through her numerous spiritual and mystical experiences until her death in October 1938 at the age of thirty-three. She died just about a year before the outbreak of World War II, which began with the Nazi invasion of Poland in September 1939.

St. Faustina is well-known as the Divine Mercy Saint, the one through whom we have the Divine Mercy Image, Chaplet, Novena, Hour of Mercy and the Feast of Divine Mercy on the first Sunday after Easter.  However, the pages of her lengthy Diary (comprised of six notebooks written during the last four years of her life at the command of her spiritual directors) reveal much more about her life, her spirituality, and her close mystical union with God.  She describes all the events pertaining to her spiritual journey, such as the circumstances of her entering religious life. Having heard a special call from the Lord, directing her to go to Warsaw where she would enter a convent, Helen Kowalska (later Sr. Faustina) arrived on the doorstep of the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy with nothing but the dress she was wearing.  The Mother Superior assessed her as “nobody special” and sent her to work for a year in order to pay for her wardrobe!  

In addition to describing the events of her life, St. Faustina also wrote down all the words spoken to her by Jesus Himself, sometimes through an interior voice, sometimes through visions.  In these visions, St. Faustina not only received directions concerning the Divine Mercy devotion; she also frequently conversed with Jesus, speaking with Him about her sufferings, concerns, desires, and joys.  It is also interesting to note that St. Faustina wrote beautiful poetry, especially in Notebooks V and VI of the Diary.  These poems provide a particularly compelling testimony of her burning love and longing for God.  Throughout her life in the convent, St. Faustina experienced both great joy (an effect of her extraordinary union with God) and intense suffering, both physical and spiritual.  During her novitiate, St. Faustina underwent the dark night of the soul, with spiritual torments so intense that her strength failed her and she felt as though she would die.  At other times, she suffered misunderstandings concerning the work of Divine Mercy; temptations and apparitions of Satan; a share in Jesus’ sorrow during His Passion; physical weakness; general poor health; and finally, tuberculosis.

The Diary is fascinating as a record of St. Faustina’s spiritual journey and the origins of the Divine Mercy devotion. Moreover, the Diary provides ample food for personal reflection and meditation, since many of Our Lord’s words to Sr. Faustina were meant for the benefit of other souls as well.  Particularly noteworthy are the “Conversation[s] of the Merciful God” (pp. 523-534) with various types of souls: Sinful, Despairing, Suffering, Striving after Perfection, and Perfect.  In this section, Jesus’ tenderness and His great desire to grant mercy to souls is evident through the words He speaks.  Especially relevant to children of divorce, perhaps, are the words of Jesus to the suffering soul: “Tell me about everything, be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the wounds of your heart. I will heal them, and your suffering will become a source of your sanctification” (p. 527).

Throughout the Diary runs the central theme of trust in the merciful God.  This provides the key to St. Faustina’s life, her Diary, and the entire Divine Mercy devotion.  Says St. Faustina: “The soul desirous of more of God’s mercy should approach God with greater trust; and if her trust in God is unlimited, then the mercy of God toward it will be likewise limitless” (p. 533). Later, Jesus says: “The graces of My mercy are drawn by means of one vessel only, and that is—trust. The more a soul trusts, the more it will receive” (p. 560).  Over and over, Jesus reiterates to St. Faustina that His mercy is infinite.  Even if a person’s conscience were burdened with all the sins ever committed, if that person turned with humility and trust—even for an instant—to the Merciful God, he would be saved.  Jesus said to St. Faustina, “You are dealing with the God of mercy, which your misery cannot exhaust. Remember, I did not allot only a certain number of pardons” (p. 529).  Again, Jesus repeatedly told St. Faustina that the distrust of men, more than their sins, is what truly wounds His merciful Heart.  Jesus already gave us everything, even Himself.  Why, then, do we still refuse to trust in His goodness? 

Here, then, is where the Diary becomes especially relevant to adult children of divorce.  One of our biggest difficulties, and one that I have struggled with personally, is learning to trust again after having the rug yanked out from under us by our parents’ divorce.  How do you trust human beings again, let alone God, when one of the things that was supposed to be a stable foundation—your parents’ love together—suddenly crumbles away?

For me personally, learning to trust has been a gradual process.  I decided to get married because I knew that my husband-to-be and I had one very important foundation in common: our Catholic faith.  It was evident that we were both seriously committed to our faith in God as the most important thing in our lives.  That knowledge (combined with my husband’s open and honest personality) enabled me to trust him enough to get married in spite of my parents’ separation.  Since then, I slowly came to realize how much more I had to grow in trust every day.  In the beginning, I often acted distrustfully towards my husband, thereby offending or hurting him, without even realizing what I was doing.  Gradually, however, through ongoing love, faithfulness, and the graces of marriage, I came to understand some of the ways in which I need to actively practice building trust.  Most importantly, those ways are communicating frequently about everything (over-communicate rather than make assumptions!), daring to express my own needs (even when those are inconvenient), and remembering that we’re on the same team.  The phrase I remind myself of frequently is, “Your good is my good.”

Divine Mercy in My Soul has been a timely and poignant reminder that I need to practice trust towards my spouse and towards God.  These days, especially when I feel worried or discouraged, I try to turn towards God with the words from the Divine Mercy image:  Jesus, I trust in You.  Jesus, I trust in You. As I make that my refrain, I hope and pray that trust in the merciful God will become the sure foundation of my life. 

Murielle Blanchard graduated from Wyoming Catholic College in 2015. She and her husband (also a WCC grad) live in Arizona with their 4 children. In her small amounts of spare time, she enjoys reading, working out, baking, and painting. Her work can be found at www.etsy.com/shop/DesertShipOfBeauty.