Disclaimer:

Any views, thoughts, and opinions expressed by the author are solely that of the author and do not reflect the views, opinions, policies, or position of Raritan Valley Community College.

I have to be honest, I never thought that my world as a Catholic and my world as a professor at a public institution of higher education could ever meet together, yet coincide beautifully into one.  But with God, anything is possible, so I continue to remain in thankful awe as to how He brings about good works.

I teach English Composition at my alma mater, Raritan Valley Community College in Branchburg, New Jersey.  I love what I do.  Noting part of this ministry’s name, I feel that my job is truly life-giving.  I think that it is important for students to see someone at the front of the room who has been through what they have been through, even if it is something small like attending the same community college as where they are now.  I love being not only a teacher but a mentor to them.  Most importantly, I love helping to recreate, to the best of my ability, the same kind of positive experience for them as I was privileged to experience at RVCC—namely, knowing that I was surrounded by caring faculty and staff and knowing that I mattered to them.

So, when I was presented with the opportunity to share my story and anything in particular that I have been doing outside of RVCC that is professionally relevant, to our Board of Trustees to help foster the relationship between the faculty and trustees, I was not sure if what I had to offer would be “good enough.”  But then, as I was thinking about the most recent community service that I have been doing—namely, volunteer work with Life-Giving Wounds— I realized that my skills as discussion facilitator, researcher, and writer that I had been hard at work developing throughout graduate school and my teaching career at RVCC were being directly transferred not only into the classroom but also to this beautiful ministry of Life-Giving Wounds.  I was a little bit nervous about what the reaction might be, but seeing the confidence exhibited by my colleagues regarding their own research interests, I decided that it was time to take stock in my own and share the riches that I have been privileged to receive.

 So, without further ado, please find below what I delivered to the Board on the evening of December 13th, 2022:

“Good evening!  It is a pleasure to be here.  My name is Jamie Parmese, and I am an Adjunct Assistant Professor of English here at RVCC.  I would like to briefly share with you my story.  I attended RVCC through the NJ STARS program, which awarded me full-tuition here and in transferring to a state school.  I graduated from the Honors Program here and was personally invited back to teach here by RVCC’s previous president, Casey Crabill, who learned of my high academic standing and avid participation in honor societies, clubs, and many activities.  From the moment she planted that seed in my heart, I knew that this was my calling to give back to the institution that gave so much to me.  After earning a BA in English at Rutgers-New Brunswick, I had tunnel vision to earn a Master’s so that I could come back and teach here, and so I earned a Master’s at Rutgers-Newark and did graduate work at The College of New Jersey.

Here at RVCC, I wear many hats.  Not only do I teach English here, but I also coordinate the Pathways to College Success courses and chair the Committee on Contingency and Adjunct Faculty, giving a voice to and a seat at the table for the needs of Adjunct Faculty here.  In the classroom, I love creating in any possible way, the same kind of positive experience that was created for me here: one of care and compassion but high expectations grounded in the belief of my students’ abilities.  Most rewardingly, I have been able to transfer the professional skills that I have developed here into my passion of community service.  Life-Giving Wounds is an independent, non-profit healing ministry for adult children of divorce.  As one myself, who has experienced transformative healing from this ministry’s retreats and resources, I now do volunteer work for them by writing blog posts, book reviews, and compiling scholarly research that validates the healing needs of adult children of divorce.  I also now help accompany others on their healing journeys in this ministry.  RVCC has given me a career but also a heart for others that I am humbled to share with those most in need.  Thank you for listening to my story, and I wish each of you a happy holiday season.”

I would like to share here, though, what more I wish that I could have shared with them beyond my two-minute allowance.  I wish that I could have told them how being a small group leader and walking closely with other small group members on their healing journey was like having a front-row seat to God’s grace working in their lives.  I wanted to share with them how moved I was in listening to their struggles and hardships—so uniquely their own and yet all part of our same story as adult children of divorce—and how in awe I am at how graceful suffering can be through their inspirational witness.  I wanted to share how I feel like I have met walking saints in people who desire to forgive their parents for the injustice that wreaked havoc on their lives through the divorce.  I wanted to share how the Church militant is vibrant in this ministry.

Thankfully, the reaction to my two-minute piece, though, was positive.  A trustee approached me afterwards emphasizing how inspirational it was.  I offered a grateful “thank you.”  Even if it was only for two minutes, it was truly thrilling to bring a piece of this ministry to where I was a student and, now, where I teach.  Never did I ever think I would talk about Life-Giving Wounds beyond my Catholic circle of friends.  But as what keeps being proven over and over to me—through this ministry and, quite frankly, the heroes that are involved in this ministry—with God, anything truly is possible (cf. Matthew 19:26).  Healing is possible.  Forgiveness is possible.  Being used by God to help in His work of redemption to bring about good out of horrific injustice is possible.  The opportunity for anyone to look more into this ministry after hearing my own story with Life-Giving Wounds—Catholic or not—is possible. 

In short, God’s grace for anyone anywhere is possible.  And that’s a pretty cool thing.

About the Author:

Jamie Parmese first encountered God’s healing grace through the Life-Giving Wounds Ministry in a virtual retreat in Spring 2021.  Since then, she has been volunteering for the ministry by serving as a small group leader in book discussions and retreats as well as writing blog posts.  She loves to pray and watch God’s grace at work in her own life and the lives of others.  

Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals

1. If you had an opportunity to give a two minute speech to your work colleagues about #LGWMinistry, what would you say?