An ACOD’s perspective on music, healing, and dealing with depression through two Rick Springfield concerts
Eudora’s caption for photo: Special thanks to Rick Springfield’s management team, who granted permission to use this image. This is the concert tour photo promoting Rick’s recent concert the author writes about in this blog.
Photo Credit: Jay Gilbert
As a Christmas gift to myself last year, I splurged on a Rick Springfield concert ticket. It has been over ten years since I've gone to a live concert, and (gulp) forty years since I last saw a Rick Springfield concert.
My first Rick Springfield concert was at Florida State University (FSU) circa 1984 and was one of THE most electrifying experiences of my life. There was amazing energy in the auditorium, both from him on stage and in return from the audience of thousands of screaming girls. It was almost impossible to hear the music because the screaming was so loud and non-stop!
Jesse’s Girl was his biggest hit: it was a song about a young man in love with his friend’s girlfriend. The chorus goes, “Oh, I wish that I had Jesse’s Girl.” Whenever my high school friends and I would hear “Jesse’s Girl” on the radio, we would sing loudly, “Oh, I wish that I had Jesse’s friend!”
In my opinion, Rick wrote songs with memorable melodies and honest lyrics. He sang with a voice like caramel candy and played a mean guitar. Indeed, he was probably the most underrated rock guitarist of that time. So, when he came to FSU for a concert, I had to go!
That same year, my mother left my father. She left him the same day I left for college. I can empathize with my mother’s choice; my father was difficult, to say the least, and we both had to get out of that house for a lot of reasons.
That day kicked off one of the worst periods of my life as my parents went through an unnecessarily acrimonious divorce that dragged on for years. I felt "homeless," detached, and on unstable ground emotionally. As an only child, I also felt responsible for my parents’ unhappiness and got caught up in their war with each other.
Further, I did not fit into the college scene I was in. I had no friends I could “talk to.” I thought there was something wrong with me because I was always sad, lonely, and grieving, but I did not know about what. No mental health treatment was available, and I had no “anchor” in faith, as I do now. I felt alone, hopeless, torn, and miserable.
Even though Rick Springfield’s lyrics are not Christian per se, there was an energy in the concert I attended that was unforgettable and uplifting: the one spot of joy in my misery that helped me endure. Whenever I heard his music, I found myself singing along, happily.
After I finished school, Rick quietly exited the spotlight even though he was at the height of his popularity. No controversy or major announcement; he just faded into obscurity. I forgot about Rick Springfield, and the years passed.
Why is going to my second Rick Springfield Concert important to me now?
About ten years ago, I learned that Rick struggled with depression and had attempted suicide in his teens. Wow! Someone so handsome, talented, and successful, with millions of fans felt hopeless and that life was not worth living? But depression can affect anyone—regardless of appearances—and for those who struggle it is always “there” and can be a constant battle. I could relate to Rick’s life-long struggle with depression, as I too have dealt with it my whole adult life.
I admire Rick’s courage to face his mental health problems, his transparency with his fans, and his comeback as a musician as part of his healing. During his struggle over the decades, Rick has become an advocate for those suffering with depression and suicidal thoughts, encouraging them to seek mental health treatment. By doing so, he is helping to remove the stigma surrounding getting help.
That stigma in getting help was very real for me over the years, too. I resisted getting therapy for decades out of a fear that I would lose my job and the respect of family and friends. The thinking was, only “crazy people” saw “a shrink,” which contributed to my “wound of silence” (Meola and Meola (2023) discuss this as a fear and hesitancy to talk about the ways my parents’ divorce harmed me in the first chapter of their book).
Rick Springfield’s return to creating and performing music speaks volumes about music’s healing power, both for himself and for his fans, like me. I believe music is something God can use to help heal us and give us joy. Music can help us know that we are not alone in how we feel. Lyrics may speak to us in a particular way, or a catchy tune may get us moving.
Rick Springfield is not an ACOD and turning to Christ does not appear to be part of his healing journey. Yet God is using his brokenness, as well as his creativity and musical talent, in Rick’s “mission” as an artist. In reflecting on Rick’s “mission” and how it has impacted my life, I am reminded of a prayer composed by St. John Henry Newman entitled “The Mission of My Life” which, in part, states:
“God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. [. . .] He has not created me for naught. [. . .] Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him. In perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about.”
How beautiful! I would like to add a line, if I may: If I am in depression, my depression may serve Him.
Our God has a plan for Rick. A plan that has impacted me at different points of my healing journey as an Adult Child of Divorce. As Rick has revealed more of his struggles over the years, I have seen similar struggles in my own life. God, in his mysterious ways, is using a man I admire to show me that there are ways of healing through the perplexity and the sorrow that I have experienced over the years, one of which is the depression of which I have spoken
Dealing with “Mr. D”: Healing and Restorative Care: This past Christmas, like many others before it, was hard. My “difficult” father tends to “act-out” during the holidays to get the attention he craves, and this Christmas was no exception. So, my therapist suggested I do some restorative care to help heal my immediate father wound, and to help me manage my long-term depression: what Rick Springfield calls, “Mr. D.”
As part of this restorative care approach under my therapist’s guidance, I attended Mass, studied the lives of the Saints, served the poor through various ministries at our parish, prayed the Holy Family Novena, and got active with Life Giving Wounds.
My restorative care also included walking my dog to enjoy fresh air and sunshine; doing something kind for my mother-in-law (with whom I have had a difficult relationship); getting in touch with people I love but had not contacted in years; laughing out-loud with my sons at “reaction” videos; and going down YouTube “rabbit holes” searching for music videos for hours. I rediscovered over a hundred videos from my favorite musical era, the 80’s, which included Rick Springfield’s music. One video linked to tickets for his next concert in my area and I am sure it was a “God Moment” that I saw that ad, bought a ticket, and went.
My second Rick Springfield concert, as an older “Jessie’s Girl”
My second Rick Springfield concert, almost forty years after my first, had a very different feel. It was a simple, acoustic concert with none of the excesses of the 80’s, but all of the same 80’s lyrics that I sang along with word-for-word, even though I had not heard them in years. Elements of his concert still deeply resonated with me. He was authentic and comfortable with his age, not trying to “go back” and put out the “RockStar” vibe he used to have. He said several times, he was “having fun,” which the audience already knew. They were, too! All these wonderful things will stay with me, and make me smile – just like the 1984 concert did for me back then.
Take-away from Rick Springfield’s story (and mine)
I said before that I admire Rick’s courage for seeking help to deal with his depression and to be the best father and husband he could be, even when that meant stepping away from his career for a time. Rick married Barbara Porter in 1984. Their son Liam was born in 1985, and Joshua in 1989. Rick is still married to Barbara – his only sons’ mother – for almost 40 years!
As for me, my sacrifice did not involve my giving up fame, money, and success, but I did eventually take the risk to my career (and my pride) and get help for my depression, for similar reasons as Rick–for my family. While I was far from the perfect wife and mother, I have been engaged in therapy, prayer, community, and healing through Christ, for many years and will be for life.
Whenever I have fallen short of being the mother my precious sons deserve, my therapist would say, “how would you view your father’s shortcomings if he had had the courage to get help?” Of course, I would be more forgiving, understanding, and loving.
So while getting therapy would not have excused the pain my father caused to me, and whatever pain I caused to my children, it does speak volumes to those children (if we have them) and to all who know us if we call ourselves a disciple of Christ, that we have the courage to face our darkness and seek out help.
If you do, as our Lord promised, help will be there! Remember, St. John tells us, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). So if you struggle with depression or other mental illness, take heart and have courage. We have a perfect love through Christ who saves, who is with us in our fear.
Footnotes:
Meola, D., & Meola, B. (2023). Life-Giving Wounds : A catholic guide to healing for adult children of divorce or separation. Ignatius Press.
Intercessory Prayer:
St. Dymphna, through your kind intercession, may He restore our lost serenity and grant courage to those afflicted with depression, fear, and anxiety, to seek help and receive it. Pray for us, dear Saint Dymphna, that we may know personal peace.
The Mission of My Life (by St. John Henry Newman)
God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next.
I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments.
Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away.
If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him.
He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.
Amen.
[This prayer may be found online, among other places, here.]
[Editor’s Note:
For those struggling with their mental health, here is a resource page from Life-Giving Wounds to Christian and Catholic mental health resources that may be a start.
If you are having or have had thoughts of harming yourself or others, or feel like you are experiencing a mental health emergency or mental health crisis, please do any or all of the following:
1. Call 911 or go to the nearest Emergency Department for help and an evaluation
2. Text the Crisis Text Hotline: Text HOME to 741-741
3. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call or text 988
4. Chat with crisis centers around the U.S.: Lifeline Crisis Chat, https://988lifeline.org/chat/]
About the Author
Eudora Jayne is a pseudonym and means “good gift” and “God is gracious.” The author is married and is the proud mother of three sons, who are all miracles. She lives with her husband and youngest son in Northern Virginia.
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals
What kinds of music or pieces of music consistently lift your spirits and give you hope and joy? Why?
How has God or Christ “spoken to” you or comforted you through music or through a certain artist?
If you play an instrument, sing, or write music, how does engaging in music in these ways restore your peace and serenity?
How have you engaged your musical talents in your “mission” to serve others and God, even if that is just humming along at Mass?
Bonus Resource
If you have access to the Hallow App, we would like to point you to a resource on their platform: “Surrender Story: Our Cross.”