Church Teaching on Being a Child of an Irregular Situation
Luis Ricardo Falero's The Human Soul or Towards a better world, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
The human soul is something incredibly unique (cf. CCC 366). Of all of the forces in the universe, there is nothing quite like the human soul. It is both spiritual but also created, something finite but also eternal. Once a human soul is created by God, it can never go out of existence. Like the angels, the soul of a human being will exist forever. That is a monumental thought: each and every one of us has a spiritual soul, uniquely and directly created by God, that will always exist. Therefore, it is amazing and even overwhelming to think to oneself, I will exist forever.
Of all of God’s creation, the human person is His finest creation. Made in the image and likeness of God, man and woman reflect God’s goodness more than any other creature. The Book of Genesis makes it clear that man is the pinnacle of God’s creation, surpassing the goodness of everything else in the created order, including the universe and the animals, the stars and the mountains and oceans. In fact, a human soul is of infinitely more value than the entire universe. Think about that—a human soul is of infinitely more value than the entire universe. The trillions of galaxies and stars, as majestic as they are, are nothing compared to one human soul. And to make it even more amazing, God makes it clear that man and woman are both made in His image, share a special dignity, and are created to form a one-flesh communion that images the very love of God for His people . Marriage, that intimate union of one man and one woman, is the path by which more human persons are created by God.
The Church has a deep reverence for marriage. We see this clearly in Scripture, with the creation of Eve to be the companion of Adam. The two initially enjoy perfect harmony and peace, until the tragedy of sin enters Eden. Even with sin, Adam and Eve still enjoy a happy married life, which brings forth the gift of children into the world. Marriage throughout the Old Testament undergoes tremendous strain, with the scandal of polygamy due to the proliferation of sin. But marriage is redeemed and revived by Christ in the Gospels, who insists that “from the beginning” it has always been intended for one man and one woman, who become “one flesh” (Matthew 19:3-6). This is how children, new human beings, will enter into the world. The family is the greatest and most blessed pathway for children to be born and reared in, which has no equal.
But what of a soul born into a sinful situation? What of a person born into what we would call an irregular situation? For example, a child born to two parents who are not married, or to two parents who are not married in the Church. Or a child who is born to a mother and an absent father, and who may never know who his or her biological father is? Or even to two parents who are validly married in the Church, but where there is an absence of love and the couple is on the brink of divorce? Does this somehow take away the value of the child? Does this undermine the potential of this one soul? Does this somehow make this innocent child loved less by God? These are important questions.
To answer this, it’s helpful to think of the analogy of faith, a useful tool in theology (CCC 114). By the analogy of faith, we mean that everything in the Catholic faith and Catholic doctrine is connected. One truth of the faith is connected to another truth. We begin with what we know to be true: each and every human person is of immense value. Each person has a spiritual soul which cannot go out of existence. From that truth, we can make several important assumptions.
God, in His Providence, willed the existence of each person, no matter what the circumstances of their birth was. One of the greatest quotes by a Pope, in my opinion, is by Pope Benedict XVI: “Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.” (Pope Benedict XVI, April 24, 2005) God is Almighty, and He is eternal. He has no beginning and no end. From all of eternity, He foresaw each and every person that would exist, and indeed upon the Cross Jesus saw the sins of every person, and gladly suffered the Passion to atone for those sins. A saying from the early Church is: “The world was created for the sake of the Church.” (cf. CCC 760) Even before Creation, God saw all of it: the good and the bad; grace and sin; saints and sinners; souls born into “regular” and “irregular” situations. He saw it all, and He said “yes” to it all.
God can always bring good out of evil or imperfect situations. He makes crooked paths straight. This is the story of the Bible and salvation history: He created man and woman, and man and woman messed it all up. God then takes humanity on a long, incredible road of redemption, writing a magnificent story that is even greater than what the story of mankind would have been without the Fall. “O necessary sin of Adam, that brought us so great a Redeemer!” as the Easter Proclamation says. St. Paul famously writes in Romans that “where sin increased, grace abounded all the more” (Romans 5:20-21). God will always bring something good out of a bad situation, and a precious human soul being brought out of an irregular situation is no exception.
No person—other than Jesus and Mary—is perfect, so we should not fret if we are born into imperfect situations. The Holy Family was the most exceptional family in history, but of course they had the Son of God and the Immaculate Conception, and the heir of King David as members, something no other family can boast. The Holy Family was extremely unique, being chosen by God to raise the Messiah in our broken world. The rest of us are not so blessed to be immaculately conceived or to have a divine origin, so we should be patient with ourselves, our parents, and our family circumstances for not being perfect.
The Church has always seen inherent dignity in every human being. The Church is the greatest champion of human dignity and rights. Think of the Age of Exploration, when European powers colonized the newly-discovered Americas. Significant debate arose about the status of the Natives of the Americas. Do they properly belong to the human race? The Church, as always, sees souls rather than politics. These Natives, the Church insisted, are indeed humans with the same dignity as that of Europeans. Likewise, the child of unmarried parents, the child of a single mother, and the child of divorced parents is just as loved by God and imbued with human dignity as the child of married parents. Our dignity comes from God, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Scripture and the history of the Church are filled with countless stories of saints who lived in “irregular” or challenging situations, but who find God. Think of Moses—adopted into the Egyptian Royal Family, who finds his way back to God and his people, ultimately liberating them from slavery. Think of Rahab who lived a sinful life and eventually joined the Chosen People, herself becoming an ancestor of Christ. Think of the Samaritan woman at the well, who had five husbands and lived with a sixth, only to convert when she encounters the seventh man in her life: Jesus Christ. Think of the Good Thief on Good Friday to whom Jesus says: “Today you shall be with me in Paradise” (Luke 23:43). This man lived his life as a criminal, and while we do not know the circumstances of his life before his crimes and death, it is wholly possible that he came from a rougher background. And yet, God used the Good Thief to bring about one of the first conversions to Christianity.
Finally, the Sacrament of Baptism literally changes the soul. Baptism, by which someone becomes a citizen of the Church and a child of God, literally marks the soul for eternity, imprinting the Holy Trinity upon it. Once baptized, always baptized. This baptismal mark on the soul can never cease to exist (like the soul itself), making that person a child of God, even if he or she turns away from God. Our baptismal identity is our most foundational identity.
Lifelong marriage and the family are the pathway that God intended for humans to be born, to be raised, to be educated, and, most importantly, to be loved. But, life is messy; families are messy; and the road to salvation is messy—just read the Bible! But God makes all things new, He makes crooked lines straight, and with Him nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37). Every human soul is of more value than the entire universe put together, and each person is created in the image and likeness of God. No human being can escape the loving gaze of God, no matter what the circumstances of his or her origin. No Catholic, and no person, should ever deem oneself of lesser value if he or she comes from an “irregular” situation, for God sees all, knows all, loves all, and desires to save all (1 Timothy 2:3-4). Most importantly, dear reader, He LOVES you.
Endnotes:
Pope Benedict XVI. (2005, April 23). Mass, Imposition Of The Pallium And Conferral Of The Fisherman’s Ring For The Beginning Of The Petrine Ministry Of The Bishop Of Rome Homily Of His Holiness Benedict XVI. Libreria Editrice Vaticana. https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/homilies/2005/documents/hf_ben-xvi_hom_20050424_inizio-pontificato.html
Intercessory Prayer:
St. Eugene de Mazenod, patron of the wounded family, please pray for, and be supportive of, adult children of divorce or separation “who feel overwhelmed, by interceding for them as they endure the pains of divorce and troubled family life.” (https://oblates.ie/st-eugene-patron-of-the-wounded-family/)
About the author:
Brett Manero teaches for the Lay Division at St. John Vianney Seminary in Denver, Colorado. Born and raised in Connecticut, he studied History at the University of St Andrews and Systematic Theology at Christendom College. He enjoys discussing Theology, Scripture, History, Film, and Music. A child of divorce since his birth, he finds his identity in the love of the Trinity and the truth of the Catholic Church.
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals
As an adult child of divorce, how can I remind myself that I have immense dignity, no matter what situation I was born into?
What are some examples of saints in history who were born into irregular situations and God used for tremendous good?
Where can I see God “making crooked lines straight” in my life?