As ACODs, while our parents did not provide us with everything we needed for our own formation, we have the ability to take responsibility for our ongoing formation as adults. There are many resources we can choose from to help us. Forming Families, Forming Saints is one resource that I can warmly recommend. One does not need to be a parent to see the immediate application and benefits that this book provides.

Temperament is the science of how we tend to react. Some people tend to react quickly and intensely. Others react slowly and not intensely. For some people, their reactions are long-lived; others easily let go. Some forgive and forget; others hold on for decades. Some love to immediately take charge, while others just want to fit in and go with the flow. These temperament differences impact (but need not determine) our emotional lives, relationships and our spiritual lives.

For adult children of divorce, a fear of dating, relationships, and the thought of marriage one day can be very real. As ACODs, we have been profoundly wounded by relationships and marriage. We saw what was meant to last instead fall apart. We were robbed of our need and right to be raised by both of our parents together in the same house, to bear an image and example to us of agape love, which is the kind of love that God has for us. The sacrament of holy matrimony is good, beautiful, and holy. Marriage and family life must follow the vows, which is God’s design and plan for marriage and family life. As children of divorce or separation, we saw distortions of the truth and something beautiful and good turned ugly and undesirable.