One of the most common requests we receive in Life-Giving Wounds ministry is that we speak more to the issue of annulments. Even though this would be a great topic for a support group meeting (and may well be addressed in that format in the future), I thought I’d share my own thoughts on the matter. In this post, I hope to provide a few pointers and some encouragement.

Spiritual direction is the art of guiding someone or being guided to greater growth in the spiritual life and ultimately to the goal of becoming the saint that God has created each one of us to be. Put simply: our goal in this life is to get to Heaven, become holy, and enjoy eternal happiness, and a spiritual director helps us to get there. The true spiritual director is the Holy Spirit, and so both the spiritual director and the directee must be in relationship with the Holy Spirit through prayer and the sacraments to be able to listen to His voice and follow where He is leading.

As many of you can surely relate, my relationship with my mom was never easy. I struggled with how to relate to her, agonized over her health, and beat myself up for never “feeling” love towards her. But one thing I have learned throughout this whole ordeal, that I will likely need to be reminded of many times, is that love is an act of the will. Feelings are a side-benefit. I rarely felt excited or looked forward to calling my mom on Sundays. But I did it, and this act showed my love towards her, even though I did not feel it. 

The year we got married, Dan’s parents completed their divorce proceedings, which had begun more than a decade earlier when they separated while he was in middle school. It felt ironic and deeply sad that we were beginning our life together as his parents were definitively ending theirs. And it caused some anxiety in us: Could we make it work? Would we last?

Mary Magdalene is an excellent example of healing and transformation through mission. Her wounds did not disappear after the Lord’s forgiveness, but were used as a wellspring for love and her mission from our Lord. When your wounds seem overwhelming, do not despair, but turn to Mary Magdalene. She will show you where to point your feet.

When I try to think back to my earliest memory, the images that come to mind are not usually something I am excited to remember or share. I see myself as a very little girl (maybe 2? The age at which my dad left?), sitting on the loveseat in our living room, looking out the window….waiting…watching…hoping he shows up…but utterly expectant of the coming disappointment. 

All of us at Life-Giving Wounds were thrilled to launch a chapter in Denver this May! We held a three-day retreat high in the Rocky Mountains May 7-9, with thirty-seven retreatants and a fabulous team of ten from Denver and four of us on the traveling retreat team, from the DC area.

Here are five of my personal takeaways from the retreat weekend:

I discovered at age eleven that my parents’ marriage was breaking up. The words “broken family” became my reality. Fear of abandonment and loneliness took over and silence filled my days as I continued my everyday childhood activities.  My father was busy living his life while my mother was totally overcome by sorrow and betrayal.  Being an only child, I became silent and quite withdrawn.  What a deep hole was being forged in my heart!