About Life-Giving Wounds Support Groups
The Life-Giving Wounds peer support group is a unique opportunity for young adults (18+) and adults whose parents have divorced, separated, or left broken families to reflect intentionally on the wounds caused by their family’s breakdown and to heal from them, together with others who know this pain and knowledgeable, compassionate leaders, who are also predominantly adult children of divorce or separation themselves.
These support groups are held online or in-person, and are a great follow-up to our Life-Giving Wounds retreat, can be the first entry point into our ministry, or serve to deepen your healing journey wherever you are in it. In general, the in-person and online support groups have a similar format and involve the following elements, but they do differ in content. See the first point below.
What is included in a Life-Giving Wounds support group?
*Unique, specific Catholic content and activities for ACODs.
In-person support groups: Just like our retreats, we’ve crafted a unique Life-Giving Wounds Workbook curriculum for our support groups that go through our full-length Life-Giving Wounds book and seek to apply that content of the book to your life. The content encompasses a broad range of topics similar to the retreats, but in much more depth and detail, at a slower pace, and tailored to 1-2 specific healing goals you choose at the outset. Our typical model is that support groups are 18 sessions over the course of 5-6 months. Sometimes, a particular chapter may do 18 sessions split over the course of 2 years with 9 sessions each year. Please contact local chapter coordinators for more details about the dates and timing of support groups.
The topics include grief and community; faith and belief in God; identity; love, dating, and marriage; interior freedom and struggles in the emotional life; sin and virtue; honor and family boundaries; forgiveness; and redemptive suffering. There are also 24 optional activities in the workbook that can be discussed and used during the support group in order to help you further in your healing with Christ.
Online support groups: draws upon counselors, ACOD witnesses, and LGW leaders from across the country to give live presentations on various topics of expertise, such that no two, online support groups are the same in terms of topics and presenters, but all the topics are relevant and specific to your healing as an ACOD! We’ve covered topics as diverse as attachment styles, accepting our God-given identity, shame, hope, boundaries 2.0, forgiveness 2.0, sexual intimacy and chastity, the conflict cycle, financial anxiety, discernment, fear of abandonment, dating, marriage triggers, parenting triggers, navigating sibling relationships and step-families, how to handle difficult family interactions and unhealthy dynamics, and much more! Typically, online support groups are much shorter than in-person support groups and only run for 7 sessions.
*Guided small group discussions with peers. Many support group attendees identify this time as their favorite part; it can be very healing to discover that others are facing similar challenges and really “get it.” The small groups allow an opportunity to “unpack” the material in the presentations. The small group discussions also allow for “real-time” support for particular challenges participants are facing.
*On-going community and friendship. The in-person support groups are often held in a parish or campus ministry facility to help you feel more connected to a local community. Friendship is one of the surest ways to virtue, healing, faith, and support, so we encourage it among the participants and leaders. To foster authentic friendships, the support groups try to build in times for fellowship and/or have one session or a separate time exclusively for something fun – an Advent party, a concert, sport game, etc. What the fellowship may entail will vary by local support groups.
*Guided journaling prompts. Everyone has a story and it is important to write it out because by doing so participants can grieve, grow in clarity, and untangle the different emotions, effects, and moments in their lives related to the pain of their parents’ divorce, separation, or family brokenness. Many participants tell us that they would have never done this on their own, and that the encouragement for journaling is very motivating and helpful for their healing. Therefore, the support group encourages the habit of journaling and gives ample material and questions for journaling in-between sessions so that you get the most out of this process. (Make sure to check out the official Life-Giving Wounds journal!) We also encourage participants to write down spiritual resolutions in their journals and track how they are doing with their progress week to week or month to month. If local leaders choose to do so, then there may be some time at each meeting to have the opportunity to share about your progress.
*Prayer and sacraments. As a Catholic support group, the sessions will include prayer and will seek to develop participants’ spiritual lives. They may also include spiritual practices like scriptural meditation or the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and have times when all the members receive the Eucharist and Confession together, for example. It’s our strong conviction that our faith is the greatest source of healing. At the same time, we try to make everyone feel welcome regardless of their religious background or current connection to their faith. It’s always an option to spend time in prayer or journaling if individuals do not want to participate in a certain religious activity.
One final point: Life-Giving Wounds support groups should not be confused with a traditional, psychological support group led by a trained and licensed counselor or psychologist. Instead, we provide peer-based spiritual guidance, support, and community, grounded in virtue development and sound psychological principles and practices. Our ministry complements professional therapy groups, and we encourage professional therapy whenever it is beneficial to do so. Life-Giving Wounds is proud to work closely with many psychologists and counselors who advise us in our ministry and serve as chapter team counselors. For a resource about seeking therapy, please see our blog article “Seeking Therapy as an Adult Child of Divorce” or reach out to us or your local chapter representative for referrals.
Who should attend a Life-Giving Wounds support group?
The Life-Giving Wounds support group works best as a follow-up to the Life-Giving Wounds retreat; we believe that participants will get the most out of the experience that way. However, the support groups are also open to those who have not yet attended a Life-Giving Wounds retreat. The support group can then be a good introduction to our ministry and a way to check out the Life-Giving Wounds community.
Also, we realize that everyone’s story of their parents’ divorce, separation, or family brokenness is unique. The support group has something to offer everyone who has experienced their parents’ divorce or separation, no matter when it happened or the particular circumstances involved. The support group is also for those whose parents received a declaration of nullity (annulment) or whose parents never married (and are no longer together).
The support group leaders aim to accompany everyone with kindness and compassion, but it’s important to discern prior to going on support groups whether you’re at a healthy, emotional place to closely examine the wounds and sadness caused by your parents’ divorce, separation, or family brokenness. For those currently working with a counselor or therapist, we recommend asking their professional opinion.
However, these support groups are not places to work out a serious personal crisis, such as a drug addiction or active suicidal thoughts. For these crisis matters, expert, professional counseling is necessary to resolve the crisis before ever attempting to join one of our support groups for further healing. If you are struggling with active suicidal thoughts, please seek immediate help by calling the suicide hotline by dialing 988.