I Am Your Father, Too

Though I hid, self-protected and continued to wear the masks that I thought gave me some value, Jesus never stopped seeking the real me underneath. He never abandoned me. All the while, He was patiently working on me, preparing my very calloused and guarded heart to be broken again through the second loss of my dad. But this break would be healing and redemptive, because it would finally let Love Himself enter in. And He came in through another father, His father and now mine – Good St. Joseph. I truly believe everything started with my simple prayer after that providential homily. St. Joseph became the guardian of my healing journey and continues to be my strong and faithful pillar along the way, in both explicit and sometimes hidden ways.

Insights from Attachment Theory for Adult Children of Divorce (Part 4: Attachment to God)

Throughout Scripture, the images and language used to describe God frequently evoke two of the strongest attachment relationships that we can know as human beings—the relationship between a child and a parent, and the relationship between spouses.

Dealing with Financial Uncertainty as an ACOD: My Experience in Going From Striving to Thriving

If your parents divorced when you were an adult, like mine did, you may have experienced strife over paying for a wedding or a car. For me, my parents fought over who paid for what while I was in law school, including the cost of the postage stamp used to mail my monthly check! My parents’ contention over petty things affected my image of God the Father, who cannot be outdone in generosity (see Matthew 19:29). If my parents argued over who paid an extra few pennies to help support me, I certainly could not rely on them to provide anything, including financially.

Beautiful Moments

I thought that if I just sat down and listed all the things I ‘should’ be grateful for in my life that I would then become a person filled with gratitude. I saw this exercise as the ‘fix’ for my pain and struggles. All the people I read about who had done this seemed so happy and peaceful. I wanted that for myself! My experience in life, largely shaped by my parents divorce, had taught me (incorrectly) that if I wanted something I had to get it for myself. So I went for it, only to be disappointed again and again.

KNOWN

It was a few months into my freshman year of college; I was at daily Mass with my friends. At this time, I was really beginning to become aware of how much pain my parents’ divorce had caused and continued to cause me. I remember sitting in Mass, attempting to calm myself, but feeling rising panic each time the priest said the word...

Healing JourneyStephanie GulyaNovember 12, 2023Life-Giving Woundsfather relationship, God the Father, Grace, vulnerability, St. JosephComment

Abba [Poem]

This poem came out of a recent time of prayer. When I was two years old, my father left my mother, my sister (3 months old), and myself. We saw him every other weekend for a few years, and then he remarried and moved around the country from job to job for most of my childhood. This poem expresses my struggle to call God “Abba” and to trust in His loving, faithful presence.

Integrating Your Inner Critic

The inner critic is a very demanding, uninvited voice in your head that chastises you for being inept, bad, or deficient. It undermines your self-confidence and increases your self-doubt. ... So what can we do about our internal critic?

Relationship Advice, PsychologyArt BennettJanuary 19, 2022Life-Giving Woundsinner critic, love, Psychology, God the FatherComment

A Reflection on the Words “Father” and “Son” for Those Who Have Been Hurt by Their Parents

When my father left the family during my late teens, I fell right back into infancy: I was unable to call my father “dad” because “dad” was no longer present. And that translated to my relationship with God: I did not call God “Father” because it seemed that God left me, too.

From the Spouse of an ACOD

This year, my husband went on a Life-Giving Wounds retreat, and I am now forever grateful to this ministry. My husband left with a lack of understanding of his pain and his story, but returned to me and our family with the gifts of knowledge of himself and his pain, and a deeper understanding of his story. He was understood on the level of the heart that only something like this ministry can give. He came home with a correction of “oh, it doesn’t affect me” to “it affects everything in my life.”

Mary's Help on the Journey of Healing

I discovered at age eleven that my parents’ marriage was breaking up. The words “broken family” became my reality. Fear of abandonment and loneliness took over and silence filled my days as I continued my everyday childhood activities. My father was busy living his life while my mother was totally overcome by sorrow and betrayal. Being an only child, I became silent and quite withdrawn. What a deep hole was being forged in my heart!

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